The Evening Ritual

Well, I mean, if you can put your name on this day, and be proud of the amount of work you've done, then, by all means, you should toodle on home. - Jo Bennett (as played by Kathy Bates)

What do you do when you're ready to put your name on the day and toodle on to bedtime?

Jo Bennett did not become the richest woman in Tallahassee by slacking off.

We anchor our days in Ritual, the repeated acts, whether unconscious or not, that get our minds and bodies ready for what's next, but are they working for us? Are they reinforced by (and reinforcing) habits that help us be the people that we want to be?

My Evening Ritual ...

consists of nightly Duolingo Spanish practice (577 day streak!), a little reading, and nightly journaling. Maybe a little guided meditation or breathwork in there if the day called for it. However, I've been getting away from it. My Duolingo feels more like a to-do list item than the beginning of my nightly unwind into peace. The reading; well, I've been reading all day, kinda. That counts! Unfortunately, it doesn't. Reading is a deep love of mine since I was a kid. I've always been able to lose myself in other worlds and have such a deep fascination with my own that even non-fiction grips me. Reading is something I enjoy and something easy and free that I can do for myself and only just for me. If I do not set aside time for it, I won't do it. Lately I've even been skipping the set aside time. Reading is self-care and I need to honor it. And the journaling just is forgotten. Too tired to think. But I am thinking. Unwritten, the thoughts are still in there and they keep me awake when they run all over and into each other all night. Our working memory can only hold onto 7-8 things at a time. When it's full our brains run those few things over and over again so we don't forget anything. By writing them down at the end of the day we're storing them somewhere secure so we don't forget and our immediate working memory doesn't have to grip so tight, enabling us to rest easier.

So consider this my recommitment to my Evening Ritual....

Nightly, once I am comfy in bed, I will:

Do 2-3 Spanish Lessons

Take my meds

Write in my Journal about the day, at least a few sentences

Read at least 15 minutes

Why the "at least"? Because the hardest hurdle is the first. It's so hard, especially in an ADHD brain, to just start. If I can start, I'm good. Once I start writing, I will write until the writing is done and once I start reading hours slip away unnoticed. However, there have been days where I wrote "Today was hard and I'm so tired" (or something to that affect) and that's enough. I'm making a commitment to starting and giving it a try and seeing if the words connect.

I also hope to use the Public Journal more. Of course, not all thoughts are meant for public discourse, that's the entire reason for journals to begin with, but I have a lot of opinions and someone needs to hear them (that's what blogs are for!)

It's also my hope that by writing about my intentional Evening Ritual it will help you think of your own. Is it intentional? Is it helping you reach your goals? Feel free to share in the comments!